Introduction

This is a blog for my love. He cannot be with me and I am determined to tell him everything while he is away. Many people experience what we are going through and because of that I am opening "us" up to others as well.

This is for him while he can't be with me. Everything that I feel, need, miss, and see.

I write for you.

Exausted

Honey, I'm doing exactly what you've asked of me. I've been gathering numbers and information. I've been collecting data and trying to sort through it. You are really making my degree work for me. I never thought my research skills would come into play for you honey, but they have and I'm working as hard as I can to bring you home...even if that means working double shifts while scouring through research. I love you honey. I'm doing the best by you...for as long as I can.

I love you.

Prayers

I prayed for you for the first time in a long while. As you remember, we aren't very religious anymore but it was the right thing to do. I prayed myself into tears. I begged God to bring you home. That's all I want, is you home. We can deal with everything else, if we are together.

I felt a small voice say: "This is a lesson in patience for you. This is a lesson in obedience and appreciation for him." I know. I really do know, and I think you know too.

All I want you to come home.

The evenings and the mornings are the hardest. That is when routine includes you.

You hold me while you read your iPod, in that indifferent way. Or even when I make enough coffee for me to have one cup and you to have 2 and a half.

Even the dogs are starting to ask me for bedtime huggles and morning outings. That is your job.

I really did pray. I just want you home with me.